"A Fresh Cut, A New Day, and the Question That Stopped Me Cold"

Entry #145 A Fresh New Cut

There's something special about mornings that start with peace and familiarity. Today felt like a scene from a movie—"A Beautiful Morning" by The Rascals could’ve easily been the soundtrack playing in the background. My faithful companion greeted me with his usual joy, and as we got ready for our morning walk, birds chirped in the distance like a soundtrack of summer. But the illusion of spring quickly vanished the moment we opened the door—winter’s icy breath reminded us it still had a grip on the season.

With a bit of excitement and anticipation, I set out for a much-needed haircut. I'd saved a few hairstyle inspirations on my phone and was ready to collaborate with my barber. The drive there, surprisingly smooth and peaceful, gave me a chance to reflect and reset. Once I arrived, we reviewed the styles, talked them through, and landed on something fresh. It was different from my usual look, but I left the chair feeling lighter—physically and emotionally. There’s something about a new haircut that renews your confidence and lifts your spirit.

Since my barber is a bit of a drive—about 30 minutes away—I like to explore the nearby stores. It’s become a small ritual. I browse for books, food, home decor, or little treats for my loyal four-legged friend. Today, with no rush and no pressing to-do list, I allowed myself to slow down, soak in the atmosphere, and enjoy the simplicity of wandering.

Later at the gym, the haircut got more attention than expected. Compliments came from both familiar faces and my gym family. That little boost of confidence added an extra push during the workout. After sweating it out, I took a moment to relax in the massage chair, then hit the showers, feeling refreshed and recharged before heading back out to finish a few errands.

One of those unplanned moments happened while running into an old friend. We hadn’t seen each other in a while, so naturally, we paused life to catch up. Time slipped away as we talked about everything and nothing at once. But something she asked stayed with me long after we said goodbye: “What do you want in your life now that you’ve been working on yourself?”

That question hit me like a punch to the gut.

I’ve been making progress. I've identified flaws, created a plan, stayed consistent—but I hadn’t stopped to ask myself why. What am I working toward? Who do I want to become now that I’m finally stepping into a better version of myself?

It’s strange how the hardest questions are often the simplest. “What do you want?” and “Who are you?” seem so easy on the surface, yet here I am, wrestling with both. I can’t seem to answer either with certainty. I wonder if others would know their answers off the bat. Does my hesitation reveal something deeper about me?

Finding what was wrong and choosing to fix it wasn’t the hard part. The hard part is facing the blank page of what comes next. I have movement. I have momentum. But I don’t yet have a destination.

It’s a confusing space to be in—moving forward while feeling stuck. But maybe this in-between phase is part of the journey too. Maybe questioning who I am and what I want is the next step toward uncovering a clearer path.